By Shelagh Raymer
It happened! I became a grandmother, and I could not believe the emotions I instantly felt for this little bundle of pink. Had I felt this when my three children entered this world? Had I even had a moment then, to sit in those emotions or feelings because giving birth was full of its own feelings and emotions? In just five short months I have learned that grandparenting is exactly as friends have described it: being a parent is great but becoming a grandparent is even greater. Becoming “Gma” to our little granddaughter has been greater.
It has been greater for me in three distinct ways. Our granddaughter is the greatest gift my child has ever given me, my awareness and intentionality of praying for my child and grandchild has become greater and I am learning that I must have greater strength to stand back and watch my child now parenting.
As we were introduced to our little Olive, we were living in the tension of joy and sorrow. I spent most of my days before and after her birth bedside with my own mother, Olive’s namesake, holding her hand and walking her to be with Jesus in her eternal home. Olive’s arrival brought great joy and was the greatest gift to me and my mom. Mom lived to be GG (Great Grandma) to the GGG (Great Grand Girl) and I became Gma, one of the greatest gifts I have yet received.
In the spring of 2022, I wrote an article in this very magazine talking about praying for your kids and the last line written says, “I encourage you to work through Nehemiah as you pray intentionally for your child or grandchild.” My own words speak loudest to me. The need to intentionally pray for my child and his child, my grandchild, has become greater.
Watching my child begin to be a parent filled me with joy and fear. He and his wife are doing a wonderful job, and I am watching them as they parent so very well! Olive is thriving and happy, however, I do find myself looking back at how David and I raised our child and wonder if we prepared him sufficiently for this new role. I begin to remember all the hard days and all the mistakes that I made along the way. I stand back and watch them do things and say to myself, “I wouldn’t have done it that way.” I want to be in their home every day helping them but realize that they also need to have space to parent on their own. Great is the desire to jump in and help and overprotect, but greater is the strength I need to stand by and wait for an invitation to help.
You see, grandparenting is greater than parenting and I am so thankful that I am Gma to the next generation.
The front door just opened—I have to run! Olive is here for a visit.
Shelagh Raymer is the Program Director for MBC Retreats.